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FARM Staff - Tommy Montana, Farm Hand
Since arriving in early July, Mr. Montana has already drawn a large following of star-struck onlookers among the local beach community. For this, Mr. Montana apologizes, citing his bottomless machismo as a potential obstacle to the farm’s efficiency. Well versed in the teachings of Lao Tzu and Confucius, Mr. Montana also serves as the farm’s spiritual guru, and can be found chanting each morning in the henhouse at sunup. (He invites all interested parties and/or beings to attend) At noon is his Cow Driving Seminar, where he teaches students to ride cows a distance of one thousand meters, all the while singing traditional Montanese folk songs...blindfolded. In the late afternoon, Mr. Montana makes preparations for his daily picnic, a feast that features various beef jerkies he’s collected from his travels in the Orient. On tap is Tommy Montana’s Home Brewed Iced Tea, an exotic concoction of savory bark herbs, Jagermeister, and hose water. Mr. Montana is single and loving every minute of it. The FARM Institute - Post Office Box 1868 - Edgartown, Massachusetts 02539 - (508) 627-7007 |
Legendary
Rancher and Farming Celebrity, Tommy Montana, hails from the
fly-fishing waters of Pride, Montana. He was recruited by The
Farm Institute for his trademark "Hot Dog" style; a style
often poorly imitated by half talents and city slickers. Fortunately
for the Institute, the genuine article will be showcasing his
fearless farm feats throughout the summer.